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DecodeI prayed for three days that someone would come and listen
But the only ones who had came were the ones who were there before
Calling, leading me away to the water.
I didn't want to be led away,
My mind equated it to be going astray
It was a volatile explosion that sweetly snaked through my mind--
My first, my last, my only.
But I cling too tightly to the image and horror of a single living thing
I shriek if they pull my hands away
A child who could never defend
Fighting and fighting until I sucked you dry
Your bloodstained heart and smile left sinking red into the sheets.
I was wrong.
We both have to move on--
--whether that means by poet and song,
Or by the shade that covers a sleeping figure,
Or red string slowly unraveling.
So now I close my eyes and let them lead me away,
It's the only chance I have left
I will clench my hands and jaw and move on to create for myself a new world,
Whatever it takes in the end--
And when we stand face to face,
There will be no more regrets.
The Shadow of DoubtI had never known what to call you
But Erase seems as good a name as any--
You have taken me away from my love,
And replaced him with the shadow that lingers still.
Thank God it wasn't New Year's Eve
When you gripped me tightly again;
There would have been no prayer for the once-called 'us'
If your smile had shown on that night.
I will keep up my reckless fight,
Though I know I will not make it out alive.
You hold time in an iron grip
And no amount of begging will release me from it.
My heart may stop,
My blood may flow,
But I will cling to my last hope in the shadow of doubt
Until the blackness closes over me for a final time.
So I shall whisper your name against the tears that are falling.
Iztrivam; you will never break me.
A Metal ManYou alone question your artistry
Like an author who rewrites his first chapter
Onto infinity, because
Of one single sentence
But I wonder why you question so hard
As one night, you captured the essence of metal
And poured it out onto unwilling hands,
That were only trying to give you a rest
And a break, and something to look forward to--
But they never knew
You know what it's like
To have your veins filled with lead,
And I will never know.
Are your emotions just for show?
Are the gears turning in your chest
Simply a sign you're not real? you can't feel?
But you still are an artist--
Though I said you 'could have been',
I know for certain now.
Your own project, until everything runs dry.
marrowfireyou are an unwelcome bruise on the top of my spine
flashing your teeth and nails and shrieking
banshee-like, to say the words that you’ve always said
eating my lungs from the inside
and whispering the aftershocks
you are the blue in my veins that i see
once i’ve ripped myself open again,
without caring how much blood is on my shirt
i do my own cleaning anyway,
it’s hard to see the pain when you keep it closed inside
you are the one that sits beside me,
squeezing my hand and telling me it’s going to be alright
but inside you suffer the same way
and there’s no reason for you to be like me
or to ever want to touch me
because of what i’ve done to you
and what i’ve put you through in the name of lust
you are the bones that cry for release.
the tears that capture a demon’s attention,
the slow lick of a black tongue.
you are the seizure of my soul
and what drives me mad is
you are the thing that keeps me going
and what i crave when i stay awake
A Doomed Timelinedearest
i will still wear what i thought would protect us
and all the memories will still eat me.
but i guess i was always
in the worst of moods,
never trying, never working
unless it was in sheer greed
i know you won't see this, can't see this
won't and can't find the faint words behind my sickly smile
and the things that i once did
but believe me:
i am on a ghost train to hell
and i'll cover up the emotional wounds with physical scars
so maybe someone will take pity
cause i guess that's all i ever wanted
was stories to tuck me in to sleep at night
and a love that would last eternity
but i got a soap opera of epic proportions
someday i might find the key again.
saravlathe pattern of lipstick on the can
mutes the rush of ecstasy when i see the beautiful scars
on others' faces
so i linger on the bubbles that pop between my teeth
and bend myself lyrically towards a fistful of silence
without need for apologies
we all have our moments
but the music that plays on reminds me
it's all just a game:
you are capable of stopping.
PerfectI will give myself one more chance.
Live on a diet of thoughts and reason
The door will open--
And someday they will see someone to respect,
No longer a girl with the weight of the world
Hanging from her waistline
But a wasteline
A waste of space
Unless I can pull back my flesh
And live in a castle of skulls and bones.
I may never attain the height of kings and queens,
But I can attain their aura
And their prestige.
Black and blue and bloody
But I will smile.
I will mean something once more.
But what is triumph?For even the dead are buried alone,
With naught but a sinister song to leave them off
Drifting along the sea with roses in their sinking ship.
What is eternity?
Eternity is we (not you and me)
Painting canvases of yellow and green
Faeries dancing across our brow--
A fire in the night with feet moving fast.
Courage is to stand up and fight.
If anyone would dare to cry out against the stain
Of a bestial man (not a father, never real)
We might be able to give ourselves a voice. And a choice.
But until that day comes--
We will (wait under the stairs with fright on our faces)
Veils and black roses.
Exnosuas DonaxAn etude for the killer rings.
We are born to be enslaved in chains,
Eyes gliding over with the frost of yesterdays,
And depression is our ultimate goal:
A downfall, a crowd gathered for the final chime.
We set the world at their feet
And were trampled underneath,
Our cries evaporating into the nether
Obsidian filling our tongues and throats
And we are nothing, meant to be captured
The next day thrown away
Minds broken by the words that echo forever,
We promise to keep our hearts broken
And sink into eclipse.
Who needs us now?
Who cries for us now?
Who would die for us now?
We are the dead. The killer hastens,
Putting his mark down.
One hundred years we cry blood and tears
We will never escape.
Tell my brother I said hello.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
Sick isn't something
You can see.
When I'm standing there -
Fists bracing -
For 'no reason at all',
I hope it makes you
Feel big and tall,
To tell me I'm being stupid.
When I can't talk to someone -
Because my throat is dry,
And I feel sick,
Like I can't
Catch my breath,
Like I'm going to cry
Like I'm hurtling
Towards death -
Don't tell me to
'Get over myself'.
When I'm crying -
And my knees
And I'm too scared
And every heart
Makes me jump -
How can you tell me
I need to 'grow up'?
When I can't get on a bus -
Because so many people,
So many eyes,
And my mind is force-feeding
Me so many lies -
Don't tell me I 'think I'm better
Than everyone else'.
I'm trying my hardest.
Really, I am.
Would you tell someone with a broken leg
To just get up and walk?
Would you tell someone with no tongue
To open their mouth and talk?
Would you tell a wingless angel
So tell me why -
When it is
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
In QuotationsYou are a precious stain
On the corners of my mind;
A bloody, tattered paper
Floating in the wind;
A crack in the window,
An angel on the staircase.
You haunt me in dreaming hours
When the night has long past birthed its day;
Your nails trace down my face
And leave pinpricks of embers.
You spot me shaking,
You try to hide a smile.
You're not a disaster,
But if you were it would be a tragedy
Worthy of Shakespeare;
Your lips haunt me
Like the concrete crevices that shifted to swallow me whole.
Your eyes aren't empty, nor is your soul.
But still you turn to face the moon set
While the sun rises ever high;
Are you aware of your wings
Will you try to fly--
Or am I too close to the edge
To let your words ignite?
Am I choking you
Or are you scared of yourself?
Come to terms with it--the darkness is here, shadows clear,
But you're a constant in the ocean tides.
You're fearing what's near, but they're just games in the end;
You can swallow your mind's lies.
I believe you; I will set forth no go
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More